One..Two..or Three - That's all I Need!

Life can be complicated but it doesn't have to. One aspect of life that can be simplified are friends. When we are young, it seems that having lots of friends are the most important thing in this world. We don't want to be alone. We want to be belonged. The more friends, the better.

I remember when I was young - around 13 to 16 - I was what you can call a nerdy one. My hair was long and braided most of the time. My dresses and outfilts are mostly custom-made by either our mom or my aunt, usually frilly and girly. I had my first blue jeans at 17. Wow! For appearances, I was a well-adjusted, obedient and studious teenager. I was well-liked and had a lot of friends. But I've always felt like I have to please most of them so they'll be my friends. My parents were so strict and very conservative and I was so envious that my friends can hang out and go places. I had to lie to my mother just so I can hang out with them in an ice cream parlor, or watch a movie, or even just browse at the bookstore. I didn't have extra money either for other stuff. I just had enough money for the jeepney fare. My mom made sure I had plenty of food for lunch. While my friends hung out at McDonald's, I hung out at an empty classroom to eat. Deep inside I was jealous. Jealous of the freedom my friends have. Jealous of the lifestyle they enjoyed. But for some reason, despite of my "nerdiness", I had lots of friends. I had glamorous friends as well. And life was not too bad. I felt - I belonged.

But over the years, my so called friends slowly faded away. Life got too hectic, I realized. Too hectic for them to call me first..to visit me this time..to send hellos. Friends came and went. They all got so busy with their own lives until I became with mine.

Then I realized why for some "reasons", I had lots of friends back then --- because, I always aimed to please them. It's all about them!

Now, I have a totally different definition of a word FRIEND. A friend to me should feel the same way that I do. I remember them and they remember me. They call me and I call them. They ask what I want, then I do the same. I visit them when they visit me as well. It takes both sides to build a relationship, especially a friendship. Everyone that desires true friendship should make a true effort to stay friends with that other person or persons. Otherwise, there is no friendship, just mere acquaintances. True friends doesn't judge... doesn't make you wonder how they are.

True friends, however, make you feel you're also important and always a part of their lives. They make sure you feel belong...and do everything to let you know that however busy they are in their lives, you are an integral part of it.

Took me along time and a lot of heartaches before I figured this one out. I have always wondered, what have I done wrong? Why she never return my calls or reply to my messages? Why am I always doing the visiting? Then I knew, it wasn't me. It was them. And it was their loss, not mine.

Now, I'm older and wiser and I know better. I don't need tons of friends to make my life fulfilled. One.. two.. or three - that's all I need. But they have to need me as well.

Now, acquaintances, on the other hand, I could use tons... :)