I had a deep conversation with one of my good friends and it turned to the subject of sex. She used to go out with this guy for quite a few months but they never slept together and not even a hint of intimacy whatsoever. She used to call me and asked what do I think about that. I knew the guy, in fact, I hooked them up. At that time, I thought I knew the guy well. He's a part of our extended family. He is divorced and I've met his ex-gf and so he couldn't be gay. And why do we think of that reason everytime someone doesn't do the deed, is beyond me. I'm guilty of that notion as well. Anyway, I offered a lame possible reason to my friend - maybe he's not ready. But in the back of my mind I'm asking, "ready for what?" I couldn't be straight with my friend of what I truly thought of the situation. He's not just into her, that's what I had in mind. I should have just blurted it out.
Well, they're not together anymore. Rightfully so. I found out the real reason. I had a chance to talk to the guy. The guy is a total loser, user and just plain jerk. He never really liked my friend, he told me. I was flabbergasted because as far as I know they were thinking of getting married. My friend who happens to have more resources, showered him with everything he needed and wanted - things, travels, etc. He didn't have to accept them. He should have just said straight to her face that he's not into her. But he lead her on. It turned out that the guy is a player with three girlfriends at the same time. All the girlfriends are economically better than him. No wonder I can never understand what does he do for a living. He is an entrepreneur according to him. Indeed!
Okay, so he never really liked my friend. Whatever that means. At least, give her some loving, for goodness sake! He should have at least given my friend a good time. Am I wrong?
Now, my poor friend is suffering from a really bad self-esteem. Lamenting nobody wants her, she's not pretty enough, etc, etc, etc...Poor girl! And I thought she moved on already. Until the other night we were together. She asked me the same question - how come the guy never made any sexual move with her. This time, I gave it to her. According to this guy, she was not his type, he specifically told me she's too dark for his taste and that he prefers fair skinned ladies. There! That's what I told her.
Now, isn't that just awful? His reason and the fact that I spelled it out to her? I should have just kept my mouth shut. I was hurt as much as she was. I'm not fair skinned either, you see. What I should have said to this guy is to f*** off and get lost.
I don't know why we women, have to depend on what guys think about us to make us feel better with ourselves. Stop it!. Just be yourself! We are not supposed to be chosen and picked. We have to do the picking. We have the power to get what, who, when and where we want. Period. On our own terms.
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